Everyone's been raving and galloping about new year resolutions and self improvement which i find really baffling. I don't mean to press generalizations across the board but who the fuck really follows these self improvement, DIY new year resolutions anyway, most of which we lose memory of mid way through the year.
Some people think of the new year as wiping the slate clean and starting over; changing yourself for the better. I feel that if you want to change something, it can be done at any time of year irregardless of the occasion or magnitude. Finding moral or intellectual superiority doesn't need to happen exclusively on the birth of a new year; if you want to find your sense of righteousness, you can do it any time of the day.
And everyone seems to have very superficial, morally inspiring resolutions. Like, be a better person. Learn to love the world more. What kind of fucked up resolutions are those? Yeah and mid-way through the year, you start to develop sexual attractions for your best friend's partner.
In fact, that would make for a much more practical resolution. Since everyone has such horrible resolutions, I've decided to ignite the world with 5 of my very own practical, 'I actually will do this by the end of this year', resolutions.
1) Spell my name backwards within 5 seconds. - I've always wanted to do that.
2) Limit and regulate my sexually explicit innuendos. - Happiness is a warm gun, if you know what i mean.
3) Stop labelling fat people as monsters, call them 'fat peeps'. - Anthony, my fat peep friend. HAHA!
4) Develop affiliations with at least 2 homosexual individuals. - It's fun having minority friends.
5) Be a socialist. - Socialism.
Now, those are some REAL resolutions a human being can work on!
5:49 PM
End of massacre
profile
Name: Karthik
Age: 400
D.O.B: 10/7/1700
Location: Uttar Pradesh
School: Good Morning Academy of Vietnam
Class: They call it 'bangthu' in Vietnam
Interests: World Domination
Likes: Lord Shiva
Hates: Martyrs
Wants: Non-Conformity
