Lock & Load

Science & Poetry

2009-05-31T03:41:00.000-07:00

She saw me. And her eyes changed. They went from being open & curious & ready to take it all in to suddenly looking all soft & slept &--I know it sounds weird but--tender. The skin at the edges of her eyes crinkled just slightly, like she was beginning to smile but didn't want to rush it. And her lips curved up just the barest amount, like the look between us was a secret we shouldn't give away. And for that one moment it was like I was the only person in the room as far as she was concerned, & she was delighted to see me, & what's more, she fully expected me to be as excited to see her, which I was. And that's how I know.

New Year Resolutions

2009-01-05T17:49:00.000-08:00

Everyone's been raving and galloping about new year resolutions and self improvement which i find really baffling. I don't mean to press generalizations across the board but who the fuck really follows these self improvement, DIY new year resolutions anyway, most of which we lose memory of mid way through the year.

Some people think of the new year as wiping the slate clean and starting over; changing yourself for the better. I feel that if you want to change something, it can be done at any time of year irregardless of the occasion or magnitude. Finding moral or intellectual superiority doesn't need to happen exclusively on the birth of a new year; if you want to find your sense of righteousness, you can do it any time of the day.

And everyone seems to have very superficial, morally inspiring resolutions. Like, be a better person. Learn to love the world more. What kind of fucked up resolutions are those? Yeah and mid-way through the year, you start to develop sexual attractions for your best friend's partner.

In fact, that would make for a much more practical resolution. Since everyone has such horrible resolutions, I've decided to ignite the world with 5 of my very own practical, 'I actually will do this by the end of this year', resolutions.

1) Spell my name backwards within 5 seconds. - I've always wanted to do that.

2) Limit and regulate my sexually explicit innuendos. - Happiness is a warm gun, if you know what i mean.

3) Stop labelling fat people as monsters, call them 'fat peeps'. - Anthony, my fat peep friend. HAHA!

4) Develop affiliations with at least 2 homosexual individuals. - It's fun having minority friends.

5) Be a socialist. - Socialism.

Now, those are some REAL resolutions a human being can work on!

Happiness is a Warm Gun

2008-12-09T23:57:00.000-08:00

When I hold you in my arms
And when I feel my finger on your trigger
I know nobody can do me no harm
Because happiness is a warm gun
Happiness is a warm, warm gun

The Heralding of A Socialist Revolution

2008-11-30T17:37:00.000-08:00

That’s it. I’m just absolutely disgusted with the abhorrent state the world is in right now. A global recession, an earth-shuddering economic meltdown and a band of fuckin extremists pledging war on the world in the name of God; the damned state of affairs the ‘big round fuck’ is in right now.

I find it particularly sickening when these men speak and act as the embodiment of particular ideologies and spiritual principles, rather than acting spontaneously as human beings. The irony here is that people continue to hold on to the much polarized belief that God is still shadowing over all of us.

Maybe he still is or maybe, appalled and disgusted with the current state of his own ‘establishment’, he left this the place a long time ago. Either way, I beckon it’s time he pushed the Armageddon button and heralded the becoming of a new age; a new world order. Start with the building process again, from scratch.

As for all the Hindu fundamentalists, Islamic extremists and Christian evangelicals, with a misplaced sense of religious conviction, hell bent on running siege all over the world – karma’s a bitch.

On a lighter note, let us usher together during this period of uncertainty and turmoil, and herald a new era of revolution.

Screw liberalism. Socialism, my friends, is the path to peace and unity.

Let the ruling classes tremble at a Socialist revolution. The proletarians have nothing to lose but their chains. They have a world to win. Working men of all countries, unite!

- Karl Marx, The Communist Manifesto (1848).

Forget about authority and class divides, revolution is underway comrades! God If only I was present during the 1900s.

*Disclaimer: There is no fucking revolution alright. Just don’t get me arrested or anything.

I just wrote that shit to feel socialist and liberated. It was sort of an out of body experience; imagine how Karl felt when he introduced socialism to the masses.

My 19th birthday gift: The world; with a socialist movement ravaging through! Talk about not learning from history of how revolutions only tend to fuck the world up more.

This has to be the most random, fucked up post ever.

Breasts, breasts, breasts. Where are the thighs?

2008-11-26T05:00:00.000-08:00

Know what I hate? Plenty of stuff

Especially, when people take pictures of themselves.Vain. Vain. Vain. Look at me! I'm waiting on line for a movie. Look at me! I'm sitting in a car. Look at me! I'm outside the lion's cage at the zoo. Can't see the lion. Can't see the zoo. But look at me!

Can't stand it.

Back then, we took pictures of OTHER PEOPLE. Get it? That's why the viewer and the lens point in the same direction. Oh, you don't have viewers anymore, do you? You have "preview screens." You can see the results as soon as you're done and delete the pictures you don't like.

Seven years ago we had to use FILM, and we didn't see how the picture looked until after it was developed! None of this "wait, look at me! Oh, that came out bad, let me take another picture of me and another picture of me until we get it right." We wouldn't dare waste expensive film on the off chance a picture we took of ourselves would come out right.

If God had meant for us to take pictures of ourselves, He'd have given us invisible arms!
Sigh.

Remember when pictures were taken on special occasions? Family vacations, holidays, visits from long lost friends and relatives? Even standing on line at a theme park or the DMV!

Now, being in line at the movies is a special occasion that requires a picture. Being in line at McDonald's rates a pic. Heck, you don't have to BE anywhere! Being ONLINE is enough of a reason to have your picture taken by you for you. Click!

How do I look?

Bloody Bollocks.

God's Little Playground

2008-10-29T06:10:00.000-07:00

And i'm back. Not that anyone's concerned but, apparently, a few poor souls have dropped by demanding an update. Ironically, it's the SAME bunch of people I happen to bump into almost every single pathetic day.

They know what happens in my life but for some reason, it only gets acknowledged and appreciated when it's published on a blog.

My life is sort of like a melodramatic movie. It's moves along with feverant pace, garnished with an array of fiesty characters. The people around me enrich my life with such enthusiasm and optimism every single day, that it's magnificent when you just lay back and think of it all; gazing at the big picture. They add so much light to my life.

And it so happens that, three of these fiesty characters are celebrating their birthdays soon. 3 of the most insane, depraved and diabolical ones in fact. Vineetha, Asvin & Zahra.

Vinnetha - How long has it been? nearly ten years! For ten years, we've known each other and not once have you ever paid for lunch on your own accord. It's always shan darling, chip in for me this time or karthik, be a gentleman for once! haha. Nah, i'm exaggerating it. But still, you're superficially thrifty, pretty much like a cheapskate. I still recall when you resorted to stealing from a store down in Bugis just because the old man manning the store refused to negotiate with you. You little indian shoplifter! quite disguisting really. haha. and for Halloween, there's no need to find a costume. Going as yourself shld scare a couple of people off anyway, haha. Oh Happy Birthday sunshine, enjoy being 18.

Asvin - Where do i start with this one? You know there's a reason for quotas, limitations and boundaries of sorts. Because of gundus like Asvin. I give you 3 months to write a 2000 to 4000 word report and what do you do? While other students are struggling head over heels to complete their 2000 word reports within the deadline, you stroll back with a 12,000 word report. 12, 000? and you go, i just don't know what else to write? For god's sake Asvin, the caffeine level in your medulla oblongata is inhibiting the saneness in you. Simply put, you've lost any semblance of rationality and you're pretty much a psycho. haha. But of course a psycho that i admire and adore aplenty. Happy Birthday my punjabi friend and may your 19th year, a very important year in your life, bring you joy and harmony to your mind and soul.

Zahra - And finally, CHENA pork! She takes the cake. Tip of the iceberg. The worst of the Brady Bunch. Call her all that there is. Our dearest Zahra has walked around school barefooted before, not once but twice in fact. It's one of those days, where you get up in the morning and you start whining abt how robotic and exhaustive your life is, so what can be done to make it slightly different and spicy today? Oh ya, how about walking around school barefooted! haha. and plus Zahra has enourmosly large feet. Must have been quite a sight to have seen her walking around school like that. The poor child's balding as well, haha! I'm telling you zahra, it's the nutella. It gets you all high and as a negative side effect, triggers off this balding sensation, haha. Anyway, i'm so sorry I can't make it for Friday and plus it's Naan. That's a double whammy. You have a great time anyway and Happy Birthday gundu! And plus zahra prompted me to say stuff like, she's the greatest person in the world, blah, blah, blah. haha. Enjoy being 18 mate.

And that's it. Done. A long awaited blog post and pretty elongated one as well. Till 3 months later, cheers!

SATC

2008-08-19T07:51:00.000-07:00

Student Ambassadors Training Camp. Loved it. Even if we were starved and set astray in the middle of Macritchie, I would have still loved it. Fundamentally, it goes beyond the activites assembled together for the camp, beyond the camp programme sheet, beyond the comfort and welfare. It's about the people, about those who surround you, those you spend your experience and moments with. I loved it for the people there, be it friends, mere acquaintances, working partners or school mates. I enjoyed every single moment, I cherished every single moment, I had during those three days with the people who made it all seem oh so exhuberant and euphoric.

Azizi, Ash, Firah, Nachos, Ching Ru, Jonathan, Mel, Pei Ern, Anthony, Zahra, Monessa, Ileane, Yi Ling, Yr 3s, my mentor Edmund, the SATC committee and many others. In fact, just about everyone. You guys made it a memorable experience and we've got at least a year left in us, so let's make this a paradisical journey. Enjoyed it, loved it. Nuff said.

Schadenfreude

2008-08-19T06:18:00.000-07:00

The word of the day is Schadenfreude. Schadenfreude, schadenfreude and more schadenfreude. It means to take spiteful malicious delight in the misforutne of others. We used to dismiss this as simply an ugly side of human nature but it is much, much more than that. Recently a Stanford professor actually captured schadenfreude on a brain scan imagery. It's a physiological, medical phenomenon. When we see others fall, wither and oppressed in pain, it sometimes causes a chemical to be released in the dorsal striatum of the brain which actually causes us to feel demonic pleasure.

When Paris Hilton rammed her pathetic self into jail for drink driving, we exhibited such flagarant festivity. When Britney lost parental custody of both her kids, boy oh boy, the undeniable delicious joy the media expressed over Britney's plight. When Janet Jackson slipped out a boobie during the Superbowl on a Sunday afternoon, we mocked and ridiculed. Apparently we found it extremely gratifying. Not ashamed for the woman, oh no, we simply kept on rewinding the tape.

Well, i certainly did. If (...you know who you are...) happens to fall into an open sewer tomorrow and loses a leg, being my uncharacteristic, diabolical self, I'd love it. Schadenfreude is the most genuine kind of joy, since it doesn't include even a drop of envy. Sins can be such fun. Of the seven supposedly deadly ones, only envy does not give the sinner at least momentary pleasure. Schadenfreude however is almost the national pastime.

So the next time someone has a wardrobe malfunction in the middle of a religious performance, go on and let out a sharp, shameless cackle. It's not about empathy or human malevolence It's human nature, it's genetic, it's Schadenfreude. All together now, Schadenfreude.

The Fine Line

2008-08-07T05:32:00.000-07:00

So, what is the fine line between friends and mere acquaintances? Personally i think the term "Friends" has been tainted and grossly over-utilized. The whole essence of it has been misplaced and corroded. Wegded amidst the dawn of technology, we're convenienced with avenues of social networking, on the web itself.

We've got Facebook, Friendster and other well established global networking sites and personally, I'm appalled and disgusted with this absolutely ludicrous concept of establishing friendships over a face-less platform where virtues such as trust and camaraderie have no apparent premise nor depth.

As it turns out, friendster doesn't really represent a person's perceived quality of friends or the one's which are likely to be of interest to you. You're more likely to meet the people you're truly interested in meeting through the prospects of common interests. (i.e. society for the prevention of crack smoking, society for the enjoyment of crack smoking, azelia trail). Global phenomena, over my dead arse!

Social networking sites aside, I don't know whether you people know this but not many men take the time, every day, to have naan, a glass of scotch, to talk to their best friends. That's not something most men have.

I probably do. But gosh, the comfort i get from my best buddies. People walk around these days calling everyone their best friend. The term doesn't have any real meaning anymore. Mere acquaintances are lavished with hugs and kisses upon a second or at most third meeting, birthday cards get passed around on every celebratory occasion so everybody can scribble a snippet of sentimentality for a colleague they barely met, and everyone just loves everyone. As a result when you tell somebody you love them today, it isn't much heard.

Well, i LOVE my friends, I'm not going to kiss any one of them though. So if i happen to meet you over Friendster perhaps, you're just a mere occasional chat buddy. Nothing more, not one bit.

Lock & Load

2008-08-06T07:58:00.000-07:00

I'm finally DONE with my PP! For crying out loud, this thing has taken like ages to complete and this is JUST my first draft. But i take great pride in my work and i think the report's turned out incredibly well.

Beyond that my internship with 93.8 Live for the Olympics kicks off tomorrow. God bless me.

Asvin's got a new skin for her blog and it doesn't surprise me one knack. I mean, the girl's in love with coffee. She'd probably wouldn't mind getting married to the owner of Starbucks if that means an affulent supply of coffee for her, every hour of the day!

Monessa, the crazy indian woman from internal events. She together with Melvin Lim and Asvin Kaur make up the most lunatic, diabolical department in the SA MC. Absolutely bogus. One's a laughing mechanism, another's obsessed with coffee and the final one's literally dead lame. God Lord, save the Vice President!

And finally, the gujarathi friend with gigantic feet, Ms. Zahra Mustan. She's pretty much cracked up in the head as well! haha. But she's got this mystical philosophical aura, with all her approaches to life and lucid infactuation with pass life regressions and the supernatural. You didn't read my PP report Zahra! This shall haunt you in the next life!

Pretty much bullshit for the day, Good Night.

I'm such a slut for authority

2008-08-04T05:06:00.000-07:00

Karthik. I finally have a personalized blog. I know, gobsmacking news. Well, it happens all the time. Friends & mere acquaintances hounding you relentlessly, encouraging you to embrace the nuances of technology. You ain't budging one god damn bit.

One fine day your gujarathi friend strolls along, directs a gun to your head and goes, "you better get a blog soon you hairy indian man, before i bloody blow your brains out." I'm such a slut for authority.

Like i said, look back in retrospect, happens all the time. It's based on a true story though, except for the gun part. Although she was carrying an offensive weapon, a machete perhaps. Anyway, i ought to thank this friend. She wasted over an hour creating this mudhole for me, so Zahra, thank you da dei. Pardon the indian-ness.

Zahra loves devouring on mock pork and happens to have enormously large feet.

Moving on, i shall lay out certain principle ground rules. Apparently everyone has it but what's the god damn point. We're all devoid of any semblance of disipline and half the time we're amounting to hypocrisy with our codes of respect and verneration. Absolute bollocks.

Karthik's ground rules:

1) Absolutely no mentioning of the term 'beef'. Cows are strictly meant for worshipping. Flagrant experiences of livestock consumption would not be condoned as a worthwhile topic of discussion on this blog.

2) In reference to ground rule No. 1, the same applies to the indespicable discussion of pig and pork oriented consumables. Pigs, from my narrow point of perspective, are filthy animals that devour on their own slob of feces.

3) You might argue that dogs have the occasional tendency to feast on their own dung as well but dogs have personality and personality goes a long way.

4) Everyone is permitted to read the rumblings on my blog, irregardless of how much you detest me. However, learning to love Karthik is highly encouraged.

5) No racially charged statements or passing remarks shall be made on, over or under the blog. The blog functions as an accurate reflection of myself.

6) Those who know me well enough, should be aware that rule No.5 is not applicable in any circumstance. I am a highly volatile, racially intolerant bastard.

7) No grossly exaggerated caricatures of Karthik should be discussed on this blog.

8) This blog serves to reflect my unholy being and is bound to be conspicuously provocative.

9) Provocative verbally not pornographically.

10) If you disagree with any of the statements or barbed commentary on this blog, do take it as an obligation to inform me of it, amicably.

11) In relation to rule No.10, after being informed of your unwarranted displeasure, I probably encourage you to jump of a building and kill yourself.

12) A less drastic method would be listening to me gloating about myself. Extremely hazardous if 'gloat' session lasts for more than three minutes.

13) Finally, simply put, Karthik is right eighty percent of the time.

14) Rule No.13 is inaccurate. Apparently he's right all the time. Like they said, 'you either do it my way or i take you up the highway.'

15) Labeling me narcissistic, solipistic, egoistic, arrogant, delusional and self obessesed would be considered a ludicrous accusation and unfortunately rule No.12 would have to be implemented.

16) You guys know i'm joking. All previously mentioned rules are now 'not in function'.

17) As of now, rule No.16 is deemed invalid.

Have a pleasant reading experience and do come back soon.